I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
