And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize