I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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