JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
