ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i think i just lost a toe
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize