no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize