Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
