It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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