So drunk, too bad you don't want this
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
