it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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