Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
