Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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