Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
