I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Less talking, more tequila
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
