So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
