he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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