tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
