You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
