I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
