I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
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