I think i peed on brittanys purse
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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