i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
