eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
