Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
