In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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