I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
