There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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