That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
