pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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