hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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