I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
