So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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