I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
