Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize