he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
