yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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