dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
40s are totally the cure
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
