big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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