i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
