Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
