How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
