he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize