just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
