So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
