Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
