I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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