Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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