Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
