I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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