Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
