I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
