you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
