i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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