OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
