One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Everclear isn't food dammit
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
