On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
