I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
