i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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