Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
