The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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