why didn't you poke me back
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
