This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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