i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
