Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
