don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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